People, who I know and respect, tell me that they are in search of the ultimate truth. Or if not that , then in search of some meaning and the purpose of our very existence.
My mind is such that it would be interested in answers to these questions.But something inside me tells me that the answers are most likely to be so simple it would let the seeker down.
Whenever i felt something...felt anything...be it negative or positive i would nurture it and try to add fuel to it until not even a shadow of the real emotion remained.I would think up situations and imagine how i would react just to simulate the feeling.
confusing? But think of it like this. Suppose your fingers go numb suddenly, wouldn't you do anything possible to get some feeling back even if it meant hurting them by pinching them? Simple as it gets isn't it.this insane urge to feel. But i fear, what happens when your fingers stop feeling numb. Would all the damage be irreversible?
Then again is the fear a real one or is it another sad attempt to feel?? how will i ever know? i will never know....
5 comments:
My take on on the search for self...I believe life is meant to be lived to its fullest...this is true prayer, true honor to a god, that is celebration, that is itself actualisation.
My search for meaning in my life ended with my discovery of the horse. Go on, laugh....but its the simple, fantastic truth. Far into my adult life, the day i discovered the horse and riding, my whole life fell in place....just like that; from the depths of confusion to a realm of clear realisation. The horse is the meaning of my life, the reason for my existence and my' life's core around which everything else revolves.
Find your passion....i mean real passion, not just an infatuation/timepass and your the meaning of your existence will reveal itself! :-)
This part of the blog was rivetting - "But think of it like this. Suppose your fingers go numb suddenly, wouldn't you do anything possible to get some feeling back even if it meant hurting them by pinching them? Simple as it gets isn't it.this insane urge to feel. But i fear, what happens when your fingers stop feeling numb. Would all the damage be irreversible?" - Hmmm, pertinent question....
There is something else which is scary - what happens after you have discovered yourselves?A big blackhole?Something like a perfect marriage.All fun and adventure might end.
Have you actually heard about the 4 quadrants of self interospection ?
The first quad is the quadrant where u know everything about urslef and others know about you too. These include something tangible.
The 2nd quadrant is where u dont know and the other person knows.
The 3rd quadrant is something that u know about urself but others dont know. This is one of the more common traits. Secrets that you would never wanna share.
The 4th quad is the most dangerous. The place where you dont know abt urself nor do the others. This is THE GREY AREA in ur life. The place in which most people spend a lot of their time in wondering what they are all about. There are a lot of surprises in store for them always.
The more u delve, they more u find.
The four quadrants are virtual, Never Tangible. Especially the quadrants for the other person.
Nice to read ur blog!..Here are my thoughts:
U dont need to search for the purpose of life. The purpose will find you if @ all there is one.The ways in which u have influenced the various situations in life defines the purpose.As per the ultimate goal of life in this planet, we are too insignificant in our influence to think abt that.So why bother?
A person start to understand the universe, the very moment he steps on to this planet. So its not necessary that you understand urself b4 starting to think abt the universe. U understand urself the best towards the end of ur life, whichs a bit too late .It makes hell a lot of sense to replay the journey of life reverse, but should be definitely be devoid of any fun.
As far as reversible processes are concerned, scientific laws tend to convince me that entropy of the universe is increasing. Everything leaves a trace!
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