C'est la Vie

Another chapter has ended. No I am not talking about a book.Though come to think of it I wish I was. While reading a book you always wait eagerly for the next chapter regardless of whether the current one is tragic or happy. The words "what next" play in the mind constantly like a background track.

Life unfortunately is a different story. Atleast for me. I love living for the moment and the what nexts never bother me. If anything does bother me it is the "what was". Oh how I hate those! There is nothing you can do about the "what was"s. They leave you feeling helpless.

Imagine this.You get so comfortable on a particular road in life. You go to and fro a million times and you know all the curves and bumps;all the funny signboards and all the secrets. Then one day Fate rubs sleep out of her eyes and looks at you. You are smiling. She thinks "that can't be right." So then she comes up to you and says " hey there, girl. You are done here. This is a one way road for you now. You can walk by once more but at the end you gotta decide which way and move on." She knows what you are going to say. Why not, she has heard it all. Before you can utter a squeak she's gone.

So you walk slowly down the road, one last time. Trying to keep alive the dying embers of experience. You revisit every memory try to feel what you felt before. You remember every tiny bit of emotion that had been evoked and a sad smile touches your lips but you don't notice.
You reach the end. The other roads beckon you. You don't spare them a glance. You are too busy staring back , wistfully, at what you have to leave behind. The pain in your heart is like a song. A song mourning the loss of a loved one. It's too hard to bear.

You try to shut the doors of your heart. You are surprised to find them open in the first place. You had thought that you had been vigilant, but sometime when you had gotten comfortable enough to forget, the risk had been taken and the doors had opened. Now all that was left was regret.

You realize that the time for decision making had come. You look unseeing at one road then the next. You don't really care. You look back at the one you have to leave. Your every thought goes towards distancing yourself from it. Your mind is strengthened by resolution but your stupid heart is weakened by pain. You stand motionless. You cannot afford to break. As the mind becomes stronger the doors shut with a painful creak
Without a single nod or word of farewell you turn and walk down the new road.